Most of your time is won and lost in your habits and routines. The morning is the apex of all routines, where you sort out whatever messes you failed to sort out the day before that must be addressed before starting the day. It sets the tone for the remainder of the day. My personal experience has taught me a few things about how to overcome this first trial.
How long does it take you to get out the door in the morning?
In the interest of trading money for time™, I won’t spend too much time on the obvious cheap and free things—get enough sleep, drink a big glass of water in morning, have regular bowel movements, and have a job you don’t hate.
Assuming you’ve got those fundamentals, we can ask ourselves a question we love to ask: how are we gonna throw some money at these goddamn mornings to make them better?
Wake up faster with light therapy lamps
Mankind lived virtually outside for thousands of years. Because we’ve encased ourselves in some kind of societal astronaut suit, we have to simulate conditions that mimic that of our evolutionary ancestors. A key part of regulating your circadian rhythm is UV light, and you can basically buy your own SUN whenever you want.
My personal choice is the most compact: the Verilux HappyLight Touch, which you can wall mount for a low profile. I put it on in the bathroom as I get ready, giving me around 10-15 minutes of exposure. When I don’t use it, I get cranky.
Some people also swear by wake-up light alarm clocks, but this doesn’t work well if you share a bed. They also aren’t designed for the prolonged exposure you need to get the proper effects of light therapy.
Use tools for quick, effective exercise
5-15 minutes of workouts every morning can improve your cardiovascular health and mental clarity. There is a massive market of tools out there you can use to augment your exercises without needing to have a gym membership or build an entire home gym.
My favorite cheap exercise tool is the Perfect Push-Up – I crank through around 20-30 of these in a few minutes, which helps clear the fog and make me less sluggish.
If you have the space, you could also do quick workouts on a stationary bike.
There’s a wide variety of stationary bikes available on Amazon, but I’ve tried to break the options down into tiers here:
The “f— you money” option: Something like the NordicTrack Studio Cycle is expensive and intended as a replacement for a gym membership and has a bunch of interactive features and content. I personally use a Peloton bike and do 15-20 minute interval training.
The “screw you, but I might still need you later to bail me out financially” option: new cheaper ‘smart’ offerings like the Echelon Smart Connect.
The frugal/old-school option: a Schwinn IC3 or a YOSUDA, if you don’t think your bike should have Bluetooth capability.
Caffeinate quickly with single-serve coffee or energy drinks
The world has a low-key drug addiction in the form of morning coffee, but we’ll accept it as a fact of life rather than fighting. Brewing pots of coffee is usually wasteful, takes a lot of time, and makes a mess you have to clean up. The advent of single-serve coffee maker machines has vastly simplified and streamlined this process at somewhat higher cost than conventional machines.
You want a hybrid of quality and speed, and for that I recommend a high-end single-cup maker with espresso capability – the Nespresso Vertuo is my personal favorite, though I’ve also owned a Keurig in the past which also made decent coffee.
You could also bulk-buy energy drinks like Sugarfree Red Bull, which have actually become fairly price-competitive on Amazon as of late in 24-packs. Plus, you can add them to Subscribe & Save and get auto-restocked, which is another great time & attention saver.
Finally, for the leanest, most frugal, and literally quickest option, buy caffeine pills like Vivarin! I personally find this option too bleak and dystopian, but to each his own. We’re still mildly abusing substances to better serve our corporate overlords one way or another, so who am I to judge?
Speed up breakfast
I like to think of myself as a Spartan soldier in the morning, embracing suffering as the best way to start a day. My thirst is for war, not the lowly pleasures of the flesh. So, from that perspective, lean breakfasts are also quick ones too, so we can get down to business faster.
Prepare hard boiled eggs in advance to grab & go with a Dash egg cooker. Or, stock up on my favorite protein bars from PowerCrunch:
Complement with pre-chopped fruits (or vegetables, if you’re a freak of nature like myself) stored in airtight containers such as OXO POP or a larger set from Shazo.
Whatever you choose, make it fast. There generally is a price for convenience, but I would assume that readers to this site already know: their time is worth the money.
Fix your out-the-door routine
When it’s time to go, it should be time to go. Why are you mucking about there, young man? You’re gonna get to work at 10:30 because you couldn’t find your shoes? You’re a disgrace.
Put things you always need in reach. Get a shoe rack. Hang your multipurpose coat and super fash messenger bag nearby. Get hooks for your keys and employee badge holder and keep them there.
Get your car a remote starter
Install a remote starter on your car if you live in a cold climate so that you can de-ice your windows and warm your seat. You can pick up any kits but you should usually get installation at your local car shop or Best Buy. Remote starting is is a creature comfort that has greatly reduced my morning misery during our brutal winter months and especially help the kids not feel demoralized getting into the car.
Make your exits smarter
Install a smart lock on your door, or a smart garage opener if you’re going out that way. Smart capability means can lock your door or shut your garage with one touch, remotely. I use the Schlage Connect which has a button you can use to lock it from the outside, saving you having to reach for your keys. You can program notifications if you’ve forgotten to lock your door or close your garage.
You should never have to drive back, or heaven forbid call your neighbor, because you weren’t sure if you locked your house up. In the old days, your parents would have either (1) burned 3 gallons of gas bringing their American muscle car back three blocks, (2) called their neighbor, on a landline, once they got to work, or (3) not worried about locking their doors because society hadn’t degenerated into a drug-addled hellhole where property crimes are no longer prosecuted. (I live, resentfully, on the West Coast).
Reducing friction is just as important as reducing time
Stupid problems make you stupid. Is your high paying job paying you to be a housekeeper, or a ruthless corporate killer? Your attention span and willpower in a given day are finite, so make sure not to spend it too early in the day. Consider making investments into things that not only save you time, but also are simply easier to cognitively handle. For me, this is things like dry-cleaning my clothes and getting pre-folded laundry by the pound, so I don’t have to feel bad that no one ever taught me how to really fold a t-shirt or iron pants.